Are you ready to find the perfect mate? Not, that I am embarrassed to admit, but I never was. Well, when I first started dating a friend of mine taught me a few things about the dating scene and how to be a little more perceptive and discerning. And she did this by explaining to me that people are not as honest and upfront as they might like to think.
She told me that it does not always come as easy as you would hope and that sometimes the dating scene can really confuse people. And the best way to get people to open up is not by attacking them, it is by making them feel comfortable. She was very good at doing this and I think she got it right because at the end of it all, I was more than happy to make her the best man at my wedding!
Initiate by learning how to listen. Nothing will make a person open up more than hearing from you that they are a good listener. By this I mean when you are talking to someone, be genuinely interested in what they are saying and really interested in what they are trying to say. That makes them feel safe and secure. You know that they are there to help and to support you and that is a good thing.
Learn to appreciate and be appreciative. When people are happy with themselves and are well appreciated for who they are, they are less insecure. They also become less self-conscious and therefore more comfortable around you. A great example of this is someone who has an issue with body image. They may act really uncomfortable or self-conscious around you if they feel that you are putting them down or belittling them.
Take time to understand them. Find out what drives them to the point where they are feeling insecure. You need to talk to them about this and if they are willing to share with you then that is great. You can work together to develop strategies to overcome the issues that are causing them to feel insecure.
Don’t try and change their opinions of you. You do not have to agree with them and for the most part they won’t. The important thing is that you learn to appreciate their opinion and to understand why they are holding it. When you can understand why they have certain opinions and learn to value that then you will see that people become more open and honest around you.
Keep yourself positive. Remember that everyone’s going through something that makes them feel like they are not worthwhile. You do not have to immediately agree with their feelings, but you do have to stay optimistic and allow them to reach their own conclusions. There are plenty of people who will not want to see you fall but at the same time if you show some love and acceptance for their predicament, then that will definitely show them that you care.
So are you ready to find the perfect mate? Follow these tips to help you be the best person that you can be and to find the perfect partner for life!