The Week of The Wacko Bureaucrat (& a couple of sane ones)

You know how life is just kind of rolling along and then all of a sudden it spits up all over your nice blouse? That is what Monday was like. We had a meeting with a caseworker from the Bureau of Special Healthcare Needs to see if they would continue the funding for Evan's aides. This is a lady who had always been very helpful in the past. After some pleasantries and inquiries into our son's health, she basically told us that Evan absolutely needed to be placed in a group home by the time he turns 21 (nine months from now). We explained that a) he still had ongoing health issues, b) he still has not recovered the ground he lost developmentally & emotionally during his illness last year, and c) we thought that was too soon to make that kind of major move.

She told us (several times, in several ways) that we were clinging too tight, weren't letting him be his own person, weren't accepting the fact that he is an adult now (Hello! An adult with an I.Q. of 64-ish!!) and so on. It's moments like these that I can feel the constraints of my Christianity, which saved her from a rather raw diatribe from me! Then, to our utter astonishment, she relayed what she felt like sending her son off to college and that she survived that just like we would survive putting Evan in a group home. (Uhhh---she didn't just say that did she? Thanks for rubbing in the fact that your kid gets to go to college and ours "gets" to go to a group home!) If Evan hadn't been in the room with us all hell would have broken loose, believe me!

Harold firmly told her we were not going to do any such thing. She said they were ending the funding at that time then what would we do? Harold told her that was our problem. I told her we weren't going to move Evan out just because of some weird bureaucratic deadline. She kept saying we didn't have a transition plan, we kept saying we had a great one until Evan got sick and now we have a new one that is in process as his health can tolerate it and as we can get all the agencies to play nice with each other. The meeting ended on a chilly note. The next day she called me to say the Bureau was ending funding May 31st. "Thank God!" is what I had to say to that news. The plan is for our Regional Center to pick up funding that will enable us to have Evan covered during the weekdays.

So on Wednesday I put on a clean blouse in hopes that life's tummy would be more settled that day. And it was. We met some nice people from a group called Learning Opportunities who will be sending aides to help Evan work on dusting off his community & life skills several hours a week. They will take him shopping, to the library, video store & other activities. They are also going to work with us on finding a volunteer job for Evan where he can ease into working on some job skills. These people were all about the possibilities and the words "group home" were never mentioned. We breathed a sigh of relief.

As I relayed Monday's events to our friend Patsy, she said "He is in a group home. It's called the church! We are a group and Evan's in our homes all the time!" Amen to that.

Comments

[Molly]

Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry about that. But I'm glad things are looking up. We should get our litle fams together for supper or something soon! Love you guys, and we're praying for you!

[Nathan Mayes]

How is Pillars of the Earth? Have read Jackdaws and Hornet Flight and find him a good author.

[Lori]

Molly - absolutely let's get together. We love you all, too!! Nathan - I'm really enjoying it but I minored in Renaissance Lit. so that may have something to do with it. My dad has most of his books but this is the first one I've read. Tell Jenny "hi" for us!

[Julana]

Good grief, Lori. Those government people can be a pain.
Some are good; others have no sense of boundaries. Some of those comments were inappropriate.
I'm glad things are working out.