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Time Out

Yes, I'm placing myself in time out from blogging. There are several reasons for this, just a couple of which I will share with you.

Firstly, January is my busiest month work-wise, with an overabundance of bookkeeping duties that must be accomplished by the end of the month.

The second reason I'll explain by sharing a dream I had a couple of weeks ago. It was a scary dream. The last moments of it were me being thrown against a wall by a ogre-type creature. As I tried to scream, I realized he had taken my voice. He was getting ready to take my heart but I woke up. I immediately asked God what that meant. I feel that He said the ogre was the devil & that was what the devil was trying to do: silence me. I know stopping blogging may seem to not be the thing to do in light of that dream, but I feel I need to "find my voice" in God before continuing on. I want to blog with purpose, not just babble.

Lastly, I am struggling with what I can only describe as post-traumatic stress from the events surrounding Evan in the last two years. It may be difficult to fully understand what I mean by that unless you have had to not only watch your child go through several major medical battles, but be the person who had to choose to send that child into those battles & watch the pain & suffering that resulted from them. This has left me deeply shaken and affected in ways I decline to go into here. Suffice it to say that I am confident that God will heal my heart & spirit over time. I am going to continue to write, as it is my major way of processing, but that needs to be done privately. Blogging will at this point only take away from my time to do that.

My assumption is that I will resume blogging in February but I leave that up to the direction of my Father. Thank you all for the kind words, prayers, & encouragement over the last several months. I continue to covet your prayers for this season I find myself in.

Thank you.

Clash of The Choirs

Have you been watching Clash of the Choirs on NBC this week? If not, here is a little pick-me-up for you. This is probably the most amazing & fun rendition of "He's Got The Whole World In His Hands" that I've ever seen. Enjoy!

 

Finally Blue Skies

Sun 001

'Nuff Said

Front Yard (AKA our new skating rink)

 

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Back Yard (broken limbs are from the neighbor's trees)

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No electricity for 6 hours last night but having a goose down comforter....wonderful!

Birth or Resurrection?

I read an article this week in which an atheist was musing over the fact that Christians make a bigger deal of Christmas than Easter. After all, he observed, coming back from the dead is a much bigger deal than being born so all the big hoopla should happen at Easter.

At first I though, "He's right." Then I realized the main flaw in his observation. In order for Jesus to be born, Christ first had to decide to leave the comfort, peace & security of His home in Heaven, and come to Earth in the most vulnerable of human forms, an infant. Christ had to decide to come to our world and endure what all humans endure: pain, hunger, tiredness, conflict with each other, sadness, etc. That had to happen before Jesus' crucifixion & resurrection could ever take place

Jesus birth began with a decision, just as our spiritual birth as Christians begins with a similar decision. It's a decision to leave all that is familiar and comfortable for something that is unknown, at times difficult, sometimes wonderful and ultimately glorious. Glorious because it is not just about us, but about the plan of God to redeem all humanity...beginning with the birth of a child.

In short, the birth of Jesus is a bigger deal because that is where our salvation began. No sky full of angelic choirs or big star in the sky announced Christ's resurrection, only Jesus' birth. So let's go ahead and celebrate with vigor the birth of our Savior and in doing so, let's remember Christ's decision that came first: to fulfill the will of the Father so that humanity could be reconciled to God.

What I Did In November

I was going to wait until Thursday, Dec. 6th, to post an entry, making it an entire month since my last post, but I just didn't want to keep you all waiting that long. November seemed to whiz by, partly because I was in my aforementioned drug induced haze for the first two weeks. I am now of sound mind & body (well, as sound as it's gonna get) and ready to write.

Molly wanted to know about my trip to Cali. While the travel itself was harrowing, the stay was wonderful. My parents fed me until I busted my buttons. They took me out for lobster for my birthday (which is next week). I was just going to get a lobster tail but my dad insisted, no, demanded, that I get an entire lobster. The waitress looked very worried & kept saying "It's a lot of work to eat a whole lobster" over & over. My dad said, "Awww, she can handle it!!" I was on the waitresses side but lost to the persuasive powers of my dad.

I have never worked so hard for so little food in my life! It was, however, the most hilarious dining experience ever. I couldn't get the hang of the little lobster/nut cracker thingy, mainly because my hands were so slippery from butter. I would try to crack a claw & pieces would go flying all over the restaurant. My mom & I were laughing so hard, my dad was looking at other diners saying, "I don't really know these women!" He threatened to order a bottle of wine just so there'd be some visible excuse for our hilarity. It was fun and exhausting and I regret that my hubby wasn't there to share in it.

We also watched "Evan Almighty". I laughed so hard during the scene where he comes to work all hairy that I literally fell off the couch & begged for the movie to be put on hold so I could catch my breath. Gotta love Wanda Sykes in that movie!

I did get to see part of the area that was devastated by the fires in October. It was very surreal to drive down the freeway and see many, many places where the fire jumped from one side of the freeway to the other. It was also oddly emotional to see an entire hillside burnt except for where a house stood, still surrounded by green lawns & trees. You knew that someone had worked really hard to save that home. It was as if God had just cupped his hand over the house & kept it safe. The smell of smoke was still in the air. I kept thinking about the fact that I was just seeing a really tiny part of the destruction. I am very thankful that my parents neighborhood was spared.

Now about the travel. I had very short layovers going both ways, which I was very nervous about. On the trip out I made it to my connecting flight with 10 minutes to spare. I flew into Houston both times & had to take a tram to a different concourses both times. On my way home, my flight left San Diego 30 minutes late, which was not good because I only had a 40 minute layover in Houston. I got off the plane in Houston, found out I had to go 3 concourses over, took the tram convinced I was going to miss the flight, got off the tram, found a person driving one of those people carts who drove me at full tilt to my gate which was as far away as could be. I never would have made it on foot. I was the last person on that plane! They were getting ready to close the doors. Oddly enough, my luggage actually made it on the plane, thank heavens!

We had a great Thanksgiving with our friends the Hanley's. Two turkeys, 10 pies, lots of veggies, etc. Yummy! It really is my favorite holiday.

One last story before I wind up (are you still with me?). I had a tough morning Tuesday. First, Evan's aide was 15 minutes late, which makes me 15 minutes late for work. Harold was out of town so had taken the "good" car, leaving me (unintentionally) with the van which had less than no gas in it. I stopped to get gas, couldn't figure out how to open the gas tank door, couldn't reach Harold on the phone, & gave up in frustration, praying I'd make it to work so Roger could help me find the thing. Decided to go to Micky D's next door to the gas station to get coffee since I was frozen solid. At the drive-through, the lady who works that window, who graduated from high school with my husband, asked me if I was eligible for the Senior Discount. I asked what age you had to be, hoping it was low enough so I would qualify. "55," she replied cheerfully. To say I was insulted wouldn't be quite the right word but close. (I'll be 50 next week.) I thought I looked pretty good when I left the house that morning, but apparently I look 5 years older than my husband!! I took my coffee and drove dejectedly to work....maybe I need to switch moisturizers!

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