The Road Not Chosen

God Reigns!

Do you believe in coincidence? I don't really. As you may recall, Evan had hip surgery scheduled for this Friday. We got a call this morning from the surgeon postponing it indefinitely, as the specialized table they use in surgery was broken. I was quite irritated at this, as so much planning had gone into scheduling it for this week! An hour later, my mother called to tell me my father was placed back on the ventilator early this morning. In the week since my last post my father's health has been two steps forward, one step back. While his heart is strong & the new aortic valve is doing great, his lungs are not in very good shape due to some complications during surgery.

With Evan's surgery postponed, Harold & I are released to fly out to be with my mom & dad. We leave for L.A. early Friday morning. Please pray for my dad. We feel strongly that his time here is not over yet. We are praying for the Lord to heal Dad's lungs & bring strength to his body.

Oh, are you wondering why I titled this post "God Reigns"? Because He does. He is in charge of every breath we take. Psalm 31:14-16 says:

But I trust in you, O Lord, I say, "You are my God." My times are in your hands; deliver me from my enemies and from those who pursue me. Let your face shine on your servant; save me in your unfailing love.

That chapter ends with: "Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the Lord." Because I firmly believe that God reigns over every single thing, my confidence is in Him. I know that Dad's life is in God's hands, and that is the best place it could possibly be!

Potpourri

It's a lovely spring evening, the bunnies are hopping, a soft breeze blows through the back yard. These evenings are wonderful! The house is peaceful, Harold is gone to a meeting & Evan is in his room banging away on the drums. I don't even notice the drums much anymore, guess it's my rock n' roll roots. Good thing, since Evan loves playing them.

My Dad is finally off the ventilator. It was removed yesterday morning. Mom called me at work & said we would be able to talk to Dad that afternoon. So Evan & I scooted home after school & called the hospital. I had cautioned Evan that Grandpa might not be up to talking to him, but still Evan sat at my feet & waited excitedly.

Dad was very weak & only able to say a few words to me before tiring, so his grandson didn't get to talk to him and was disappointed. As I  hung up the phone, Evan said "Well??" which is what he always says when you get off the phone. He always wants to know the entire conversation! I started to explain that Grandpa was pretty weak & couldn't talk, but then I choked up & started to cry. My son was very worried that I was doing this so I tried to explain that I was crying because it was so good to hear my Dad's voice again. Tilting his head to the side, Evan looked at me skeptically. "You happy so you cry? No. Uh-unh. No." It took a bit of convincing but I finally got my point across.

Realizing it would be some time until I got dinner ready, I asked Ev if he wanted a small snack. "Waaaaa! Waaaa!" he replied. Having a slow moment, I asked, "What are you doing?" "Waaaa! I'm happy. Want snack. Waaaa!" Yup, he comes by his weird sense of humor honestly!

I'm off to sit on the deck & drink some coffee. Have a good rest of the week.

The Hard Working Heart

My life seems to be going several directions at once. Many things require my attention but really all I want to do is sit on the deck & watch the squirrels get attacked by the blue jays while the bunnies munch on dandelions. *Sigh* I guess I have spring fever!

My Dad, who had his aortic valve replaced a week ago today, is currently on a respirator. It's not quite as bad as that sounds but is still serious. He developed pneumonia, a common complication, & they decided to put him on a respirator on Sunday because trying to breathe was exhausting him. He is heavily sedated but still managed to pull out the tube last night! The pneumonia is clearing up but he will still be on the machine for a couple more days. His heart is doing great, so that is good news.

Here's an interesting spiritual metaphor for you: the surgeon told my Mom that Dad's heart muscle had worked so hard to compensate for the calcified aortic valve, that the heart had actually hardened & grown up into the valve, blocking the flow of blood. They had to actually cut chunks of my Dad's heart away so the new valve would fit & work correctly.

Can you guess where I'm going with this? The heart thought it was only doing its job, pumping away harder & harder. After all, the aorta was in trouble. But all its extra work and effort was just blocking the flow of life that keeps it going in the first place. It worked so hard that it got in the way, and had to be cut back.

That is often me. I think that something isn't going right so I put forth more effort. In fact, I even get puffed up & get "hard of heart", resenting the fact that the situation doesn't seem to be clearing up. I effectively block the flow of the Spirit of God, because I am working in my own strength and not His. God then has to come and cut away the parts of me that are swollen with my own pride. Ouch! I am reminded again that even damaged situations cannot be fixed by my own hard work, but only by God. He is the Healer, not me. My job is to be a clean, strong vessel that the Holy Spirit can flow through and touch others. This is what will help the Body be strong and healthy, and God will get all the glory!

Blogger's Fuel

Oh, yeah, I do love my coffee! I'm also downright picky about it, not in a "snobby elitist" kind of way, but in a "don't give me stale coffee" kind of way. I tend to Google "coffee" occasionally to see if something new pops up. I found a site by Boca Java that has a new line of what they call Blogger's Blends. They were offering free coffee to the first 500 bloggers who were willing to review it on their blogs. Free coffee?! I'm in!

The large box arrived in the mail last week with 6 half-pound bags of different varieties, along with a hat & a mug. Harold & I are working our way through them, he wearing the hat & I sipping from the mug. Evan was disappointed there was nothing in it for him, except more energetic parents.

The first coffee we tried was "Blogger's Pajama Passion". It is a medium roast with hints of vanilla, Kahlua & caramel flavors. This coffee was so yummy I could envision myself being satisfied with it after dinner & saving the calories I would have otherwise spent on dessert. We will definitely order this one!

The second one sipped was "Blogs of Bravery", a mix of dark & medium roast beans from South America. This coffee has a full body but no bitter aftertaste. We've been starting our mornings with it and I hate to say we've almost finished the bag!

"Blogger's Boot Up Blend" was our after dinner coffee last night. I didn't enjoy this one as much as the others. It is a medium blend of African, South & Central American beans. Maybe it was too many regions in one bag for my taste. I found it a little acidic.

I'm looking forward to sampling the other 3 blends & will let you know what I think. One thing I really liked about this company was their "Operation Million Cups" which lets you send coffee to our troops. For every bag of coffee you donate, Boca Java will match the donation by sending an equivalent bag of coffee. They are providing the coffee for donation at a discounted price of $4 per 8 oz. bag. For just $4 you can send 60 cups of delicious coffee! They have sent over 766,000 cups so far. A worthy endeavor indeed!

All's Well That Ends Well

Whew, glad that's all over! I'll relay the week's events in chronological order. My Dad was supposed to have heart surgery Tuesday, but it got bumped to Wednesday. They replaced his aortic valve, which had calcified. It's a huge surgery & was a bit more complicated than they had anticipated as the valve was in worse shape than originally thought. Dad is in ICU for another day, but is doing well. I mean as well as can be expected when you've had your chest split open & you have various tubes coming out of you. I may yet make a trip to California for a few days when he gets home from the hospital to help Mom care for him. We'll see.

On to Evan's guardianship hearing yesterday. I was very curious as to how this would actually go. Our lawyer had kind of prepped us to give a rough idea of what would be done in the courtroom, but the actual experience was a bit different. Our good friend of many years, Sherry, went with us for moral support. Thank you, Sherry, for that. And for lunch afterward. We needed the laughs!

The hearing took about 20 minutes. Harold took the stand & our lawyer asked him a few questions: when did we learn about Evan's disability, how has it affected his development, can he provide for himself, were we willing to continue to care for him for the rest of his life (gulp). Evan's attorney had no questions or objections. I then took the stand to verify what Harold said was true. A letter from Evan's doctor saying that he had Down's was entered into evidence. The judge then said that due to Evan's disability and lack of mental competence, we were awarded guardianship of him & conservatorship of his assets. And with a bang of her gavel, it was official.

Sitting in that courtroom was very surreal. I awoke yesterday morning very calm & peaceful (thank you everyone for your prayers) & that carried over into the courtroom. The actual pronouncement was emotional just because it seemed so stark & harsh. Sherry told us over lunch that she wanted to say "Wait, there's so much more to Evan than this!" Of course there is & of course the legal proceeding was blunt & dry.

There wasn't much time for me to think about what had happened because just after lunch we got a call from school that Evan was sick. I brought him home and we settled in for naps. As I told Harold before he went back to work yesterday afternoon, "Well, I guess life just continues on, doesn't it?" And that it does, thankfully!

On a more ethereal note, Mark Bertrand wrote a wonderful article, "How Do The Heaven's Declare God's Glory?" Definately worth a read!

The Week That Was

Last week went by in a flash. Here's a quick rundown of the (I'm sure) fascinating events:

Monday: Evan gets blood work done to check his thyroid levels & see how his red cell count is doing. They have a hard time getting a vein. The lab worker thinks he may be dehydrated.

Wednesday: The pediatrician's office calls to say the lab let the blood sit too long & it clotted. We have to go back for another draw. No one is happy about this. We pump Ev full of fluids hoping for an easier draw in the morning.

Thursday: Evan bravely submits to the needle again. He must be well hydrated because they are able to get a vein without any trouble this time.

Friday: The pediatrician calls us as we are on the road to St. Louis to go visit my mother-in-law. The good news is that Evan's thyroid levels are great so he can stay on his current dosage of synthroid. His cholesterol is down from 248 to 160, probably because his thyroid is regulated. The bad news is that the lab didn't get the blood work that the hematologist needed. (Why am I not surprised?) Half an hour later the hematologist calls & says since Evan isn't showing any signs of health issues, she is willing to wait until his next routine draw (2 months from now) to get a red cell count. A rousing "hooray" rings throughout the car!

I am not planning on posting this week until after we go to court on Thursday for the finalization of Evan's guardianship. My Dad is having a heart valve replaced Tuesday in Los Angeles. Between that & court, oh, and my job, it will be a full week. Thanks to all for your continued prayers for our family.