The Road Not Chosen

Wandering Thoughts

It's been a good week. I actually managed to be in the office every day. That hasn't happened since the first of the year. No doctor or lawyer appointments to pull me away from my duties. I even caught up on my filing. (Oh, how I hate that task!)

Monday morning I decided I was fed up with our dryer. For months I have been having to run every load twice to get things dry. Our dryer was a cheap, no-name brand whose time was over. Taking advantage of the President Day sales, I trotted over to Sears & bought a wonderful, super capacity, automatic moisture sensor equipped dryer. The best thing about this new dryer is that it has... a buzzer! Yes, a buzzer! I never knew dryers came without them until we purchased our previous one. After 12 years of no-buzzer drying I am ecstatic. It's the little things that make me happy!

In other news, I spent a few hours Thursday & Friday designing new blogs for our church. I have been the official church blogmistress for 3 years or so. It's a wonderful break from accounting & gives me a creative outlet that is frowned on in number crunching! I have listed a link on this site if you'd like to see where I spend my days. The blogs are still works in progress, but aren't half bad for 3 or 4 hours I've put into them so far.

In Evan news, he seems a bit, well, bipolar this week. His emotions are either way high or way low. I spoke with the pediatrician yesterday, who surmised it was the thyroid meds and ordered a new round of blood work. His medication probably needs to be adjusted. She said that people with Down's can tend to react differently to certain medications compared to people who do not have Down's. I can certain say this is true! Evan has had some wacky reactions to meds over the years. So next week he'll go for another blood draw. The hematologist was wanting a draw next week anyway, so he'll just get stuck once. Which is good.

On the spiritual front, I have been thinking about the mercy of God. We have several families in our church right now who have been facing medical problems. Yet each time, God has been moving on their behalf and their medical circumstances have changed for the better. One woman supposedly had heart problems & was scheduled for an angioplasty. A week later, the blockage that was supposedly there was gone. A close friend of my was told by reliable doctors at a major medical center that she either had scyleroderma or Lupus. A week later, blood work revealed she had neither of these things.

The list goes on. Impending doom seems just around the corner and then the mercy of the Lord showers down blessings, washing away the work of the enemy. As we continue through our little trial, I am thankful that God does choose to heal. And when healing doesn't come, or is delayed, He gives us grace to endure. As the Apostle Paul wrote: "Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." (2 Corinthians 4:16-18 NIV)

Book Review - "A Family Forever"

I was intrigued when I read on Brenda Coulter’s “No Rules, Just Write” blog that she was giving away 30 copies of her newest inspirational romance novel to anyone who agreed to review it on their own blog. Having never read a novel of this genre before, and promising to have an open mind, I eagerly e-mailed her. Brenda had given away all the copies, but generously sent me one anyway.

“A Family Forever” is the story of love found, love lost, love offered, love rejected, and finally, love accepted. Whew, it was quite a ride! Well written and easy to read, I found Brenda’s story drawing me in even as I pondered my viewpoint on Christian romance novels.

A quick synopsis of the story: Shelby Franklin’s fiancé, David, is killed 3 weeks before their wedding. She soon discovers that she is pregnant with their child. Tucker Sharpe had promised his dying brother, David, that he would look after Shelby. He makes good on his promise, convincing Shelby to marry him, even though neither is in love with the other. The story follows their journey as they try to rebuild their lives which have been shattered by David’s death. The question “Can love grow from a promise?” has an intriguing answer.

As I read this novel, I found myself constantly weighing the worldly perception of what romance is versus the Biblical guidelines for romance. Brenda does a good job of addressing this issue in “A Family Forever.” The story was entertaining with a plot twist or two I didn’t expect. However, I was a bit disappointed that it followed the romance novel formula where the hero is always handsome, the heroine is always pretty, and sexual tension (however tastefully stated and toned down) is in the air.

As someone who has the responsibility as a pastor’s wife of helping young women who daily face a barrage of messages from the world that says outward attraction is everything, I would like to see an inspirational romance novel where the hero is not good-looking, but has a passion to follow Christ which the heroine finds intriguing. I’d love for the hero to fall in love with a chubby heroine, drawn to her not just because she looks good outwardly, but because she has an inward beauty he cannot resist.

Overall, I liked “A Family Forever” but found myself wishing that it had pushed a bit further past the normal romance novel formula. Brenda is a talented writer and it’s hard to believe this is only her second novel! I know there are many more wonderful stories to come!

Look for A Family Forever, in stores after February 28th or order it online now from Amazon.com

Read the first chapter at BrendaCoulter.com

Visit Brenda's blog, No Rules, Just Write

Be Subversive

Subversive: noun A radical supporter of political or social revolution.

The other night I was flipping between the Olympics & Larry King, who was interviewing George Clooney. Now I find Clooney to be an interesting guy. I really like him as an actor. I think he is very gifted & has honed his craft very well. But there are two George Clooney's: George the actor & George the political activist. He is very liberal & very vocal about it. Freedom of speech is a privilege we in America are very blessed to have.

I listened to him talk about his political views, most of which I disagree with. Then Larry asked him about his religious views. (Larry loves to talk about religion if you hadn't noticed!) Mr. Clooney says: "Yes, we were Catholic, big time, whole family, whole group." Larry then asks him if he still has his faith or did he loose it. George's reply was: "I don't have a specific -- I don't -- it's an interesting thing. I'll tell you what's tricky about this. In talking about religion, if you're well known, anything you say sort of ticks off a bunch of other people and sort of attacks their belief. So I always try to say that I, first and foremost, I think that whatever anybody believes, as long as it doesn't hurt anyone else, it's fair enough and works. And I think it's real and matters. I don't happen to have those beliefs as much. I don't believe in those things."

This is where it gets interesting for me. I don't understand why he will go into great detail, in a great many interviews, about his political beliefs & yet when the subject turns to religion he just won't say what he thinks. Mr. Clooney doesn't seem to mind offending me if I am a Republican. He will & does tear that political party to shreds. But when it comes to religion "whatever anybody believes, as long as it doesn't hurt anyone else, it's fair enough and works." 

Here is what people don't understand: your religious beliefs are monumentally more important than your political beliefs. Your view of God affects how you think the world should be. Is life sacred or not? Is corruption OK? Is killing someone every justified? These big questions aren't answered solely by your political views. They are answered more basically by what your religious beliefs are. If you are going to have the guts to loudly proclaim your political position, why not have the same courage when it comes to your point of view on God? Oooo, it's personal, people will say. How is it more personal than who you want to elect to public office? I don't get it. Come on George, be brave in every area of your life. (OK, I don't care to hear about your love life. Keeping that to yourself is fine as far as I'm concerned.)

Along these lines, I find myself often disappointed when I hear Christians cave when publicly questioned about their beliefs. Consider this interview between Larry King & Joel Osteen in June, 2005 :

KING: Because we've had ministers on who said, your record don't count. You either believe in Christ or you don't. If you believe in Christ, you are, you are going to heaven. And if you don't no matter what you've done in your life, you ain't.

OSTEEN: Yeah, I don't know. There's probably a balance between. I believe you have to know Christ. But I think that if you know Christ, if you're a believer in God, you're going to have some good works. I think it's a cop-out to say I'm a Christian but I don't ever do anything ...

KING: What if you're Jewish or Muslim, you don't accept Christ at all?

OSTEEN: You know, I'm very careful about saying who would and wouldn't go to heaven. I don't know ...

KING: If you believe you have to believe in Christ? They're wrong, aren't they?

OSTEEN: Well, I don't know if I believe they're wrong. I believe here's what the Bible teaches and from the Christian faith this is what I believe. But I just think that only God with judge a person's heart. I spent a lot of time in India with my father. I don't know all about their religion. But I know they love God. And I don't know. I've seen their sincerity. So I don't know. I know for me, and what the Bible teaches, I want to have a relationship with Jesus.

I feel for Joel Osteen. Maybe he just was really nervous & didn't state his beliefs clearly. I know I would be horribly nervous with millions of people watching me. I'd like to think that he believes the only way to Heaven is through a personal relationship with Christ. He had an awesome opportunity to declare the true Gospel but for some reason didn't.

One of the most subversive things you can do in America today is to state unequivocally, for all to hear, that you believe the Bible is the inerrant word of God, that the one and only way to get to Heaven is what is stated in the Bible: repent of your sins and believe in the Lord Jesus Christ. Yet we are often either afraid, intimidated or not convinced enough of our beliefs to be so bold. Christ was so outspoken about it that it cost his life, as it did many of the apostles, and continues to cost the lives of Christians around the world today.

Let's be bold! Let's be subversive! Let's be Christians!

Happy Valentines Day!

This morning Evan opened the front door & yelled "Lions!" Harold & I groaned knowing that could only mean one thing: a matching pair of these, festively decorated for the holiday, sitting on our front lawn! (Click on the picture for the full effect!)

Where did these lovely lions come from, you ask? Well, someone in our church bought a house about a year ago with the lions in front. They were white at the time. Now the lions move from home to home among our congregation, usually very late at night, decorated for many holidays: Christmas, 4th of July, etc. They are made of concrete, so moving them is no small thing! Our friends, the Hanley's, were the last recipients & have so thoughtfully passed them on to us. We are....honored.

I believe St. Patrick's Day is the next holiday. I think they would look lovely painted white with green shamrocks. Hmmmm, who should we give them to next?

Expect The Unexpected

We were sitting in the orthopedist's office this afternoon. Evan had patiently endured a few x-rays & an exam by a resident already. We were hoping for a quick exam & be on our way. Right.

The good news is that Ev doesn't have calcification on his hip socket. The bad news is that a piece of bone has broken off in there (no clue how that occurred!) & will have to be removed through arthroscopic surgery. A one day surgery, in and out. That would have been ok if it had ended there. But wait, there's more!

Apparently, like many w. Down's, Evan's hip socket doesn't completely cover the ball of the leg joint. In fact, looking at the x-ray, the ball looks fairly exposed. The ortho suggested we consider surgery to correct this. Surgery would be a major ordeal involving breaking the left hip, repositioning it to cover the ball, probably a couple of months in a hip cast I imagine, physical therapy, yada yada yada. We meet with the orthopedic surgeon next month. First we will tackle the removal of the bone fragment, then consider the options for the other.

As the doctor is talking to us I was thinking "Wait. Did you just say surgery? Can't be. You're suppose to be saying this is no big deal, we'll watch it, so on and so forth. Where the heck did surgery come from?" It all seemed very surreal and very out of left field. I think I even asked him to clarify what he meant by "surgery". That's how unprepared I was for this kind of diagnosis.

We thanked him & went to lunner (lunch & dinner) at Macaroni Grill. It was mid-afternoon by that time. After eating & a quick re-fueling at Starbuck's we began the 1 & 1/2 hour drive home. As I drove & Harold napped (he had to teach a Bible class tonight) I kept thinking how I had thought this would be our last Doctor appt. for a while. Guess not. Well, all I can say at this point is God is in control. We will be praying for His wisdom in making the decision on the big surgery. Please pray with us.

Now I am off to zone out on figure skating & unwind before bed. How's Evan? We haven't talked in depth with him yet about this. We will put that off for a day or two. Tomorrow is Valentine's Day so he and I had Valentines to write & teacher presents to wrap, which was way more fun that talking about surgeries!

Just A Boring Day

Wow. I haven't had a Saturday like this is many weeks! No drama, no talks with the pediatrician, just an ordinary day. I had lunch with my friend Andrea yesterday & told her I hadn't realized how stressed I was about Evan's medical issues until a day or so ago. I feel like I'm waking up from a 6 week long bad dream. How wonderful to see the light of day!

So what did I do today? Clean house (much neglected in the last month), cook, do laundry, help Evan organize his room. Just normal stuff. Right now I am typing this on Harold's wonderful tablet PC with wireless connectivity. This enables me to not miss the Olympic programming. Hooray! What luxury to sit on the couch with my family, watch TV and do a blog entry. I'm in geek heaven.

I must say that I am overwhelmed by God's mercy on us. We realize that Evan's diagnosis could just have easily been one much more serious and dire. We don't take for granted the blessing that has been bestowed on us. Monday we head to the orthopedist to get Evan's hip checked. Should be a walk in the park, comparatively speaking. Here's to many more boring day's in our household.

Friday's Feast

Appetizer
What was a class or course you took while in school that you realize now was a total waste of time?  Where do I start? I took Library Arts in High School. One would think I learned a lot about, well, library stuff. Actually, all I learned was that the head librarian should have chosen another field. She didn't teach us, well, anything...

Soup
Who is the tallest person you know? My friend Dave K, who is 6'8". His wife Kathy is 6' 5"!

Salad
What's your favorite midnight snack? Salty snack - nachos. Sweet snack - apple turnover w. a good cup of decaf coffee. Liquid snack - Earl Grey tea, one scoop sugar, no cream.

Main Course
Have you ever found money somewhere? If so, where did you find it, and how much was it? I have never, ever, found money anywhere. Wish I would!!

Dessert
Where would you like to retire? I actually don't like the idea of retiring. If the word "retire" means spend the last 10-20 yrs. of my life focusing on myself & doing my own thing (like all the investment commercials imply) I think I'll pass on that. I want my latter years to be spent mentoring the generations under me, helping them to fulfill whatever their God-given destinies are. I don't want to sit on the sidelines, I want to keep going. We have a wonderful grandpa in our church, Keith, who is 83. He runs the Community Food Bank. We have a hard time keeping up with him! That's how I want to be...making the young people try to keep up with me!

Every Part Of Me

I was thinking the other day about how Down Syndrome effects every single cell in Evan's body. There is not one tiny part of him that does not contain that extra chromosome. It pervades every essence of his physical body.

As I thought about this, God drew my attention to what happens when we become Christians. Every part of our spirit becomes transformed into God's Spirit. 2 Corinthians 5:17 tells us "Anyone who belongs to Christ is a new person. The past is forgotten and everything is new." (CEV)

There is not one part of my spirit that is not His. 1 Corinthians 12:13 says, "By means of his one Spirit, we all said good-bye to our partial and piecemeal lives. We each used to independently call our own shots, but then we entered into a large and integrated life in which he has the final say in everything. (This is what we proclaimed in word and action when we were baptized.) Each of us is now a part of his resurrection body, refreshed and sustained at one fountain--his Spirit--where we all come to drink." (MSG)

What a wonderful miracle this is! I have been recreated by the love of God. It is an amazing mystery and gift that is available to all of us if we simply give up control of our own lives and acknowledge Jesus Christ as Lord. May the love of God pervade your heart today.

You're a Dialogue/Character Writer!

What kind of writer are you?
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Boy, ain't that the truth. I guess my fiction imitates my life!

Tag, I'm It!

Julana has tagged me for the 4x4 meme, so here goes!

4 Jobs I've Had

1. Waitress in a Chinese restaurant. This was my first "real" job. It was the early 70's, I was 15 & got fired for trying to make the police pay for their food. The owner gave them free meals, which I viewed as corruption and bribery. Oh, I was so moral. Not!

2. Record Store Manager. Free records, free concert tickets, free backstage passes, free t-shirts, free drugs. What more could a 20 yr. old non-Christian want in 1977 Los Angeles? God sent an employee who was a devout Christian who was a wonderful witness to the rest of us heathen. She started me down the path to God.

3. Secretary at a Christian Adoption Agency. I learned so much from this job & the people I met there. I learned about grace, mercy & unconditional love at it's best. A part of me felt like my time there helped me atone for the time I had spent working at a free (and abortion providing) clinic in the 70's. I know God had forgiven me, but I hadn't forgiven myself yet.

4. Bookkeeper. This has been my day job for the last umpteen years. It has taken me to a state university, various churches, an envelope manufacturing plant, textile design firm & other places. It challenges me & helps keep me humble.

4 Places I've Lived

1. San Francisco, where I attended the state university there. Interesting place to live. But they hated people from L.A.

2. San Pedro, CA, where I spent a big chunk of my childhood living in a neighborhood that couldn't have been more ethnically diverse if someone had planned it. Great way to grow up!

3. St. Louis, MO, twice! Harold & I went to Bible College there in 1986 then moved back to CA, only to return a couple of years later with a baby boy named Evan. I love it's diversity & history. Best free zoo in the country!

4. Small town, MO. I've grown to love the open spaces, lack of concrete and zero traffic. Even if it doesn't have a mall.

4 Vacations I've Taken (we are not a good vacation taking family)

1. Baja, Mexico a zillion times when I was growing up. Great fishing!

2. Maui & Kauai on our honeymoon

3. Southern CA to visit my family - always fun & relaxing.

4. Ummmmmmm..........

4 Vehicles I've Owned

1. My first car, a souped up 1974 Plymouth Duster.

2. A wonderful red Nissa Sentra with grey interior.

3. A Lincoln Towncar that we got a great deal on (turned out to be a lemon but was the most comfortable car!)

4. A red Honda Accord that I taught myself to drive stick on when I was 22. My dad refused to teach me. Said once was enough!