Evan loves clothes. I mean, he really, really loves clothes. He likes talking about what he's going to wear, thinking about what he's going to wear, talking about what you are going to wear. It's kind of an obsession. He has really good taste (not sure where that came from) so we don't really have to worry about it too much. Our church school has a pretty relaxed dress code. Basically the kids can wear anything as long as it is modest and isn't t-shirts or jeans. So here's the rub for our son: he loves t-shirts. In the past he has had a problem with wearing a t-shirt (not undershirt) beneath a shirt that buttons down the front. Normally not a problem, until you see him walking down the hall with his shirt unbuttoned so everyone can see the cool t-shirt he is wearing. Can anyone say dress code violation?
We thought we had this problem solved and that Evan had moved past that stage. When Evan & I got home yesterday from school he said, "Mom, I'm sorry. Two clothes on today." I was a bit confused. I asked him to clarify and he unbuttoned his shirt to show me a t-shirt and then showed me that under his long pants, he had a pair of cargo shorts! My first thought was "Wow, those long pants must be bigger on him than I thought!" I tried really hard not to laugh & put on my stern mommy face. "Evan, why did you wear 2 sets of clothes?" His reply? "At public school they wear shorts. I change at Life Skills today." I knew that Mrs. Meyers would not have let him change clothes, so I guess that was his plan but it was thwarted & his guilty conscience got the better of him.
I suddenly saw a connection with something Evan had been talking about for a week. He kept saying he wanted to dress like a "cool dude" for Halloween. Then he would go put on his sunglasses, slick his hair back, and put on a necklace a friend had given him. Harold & I didn't get the connection. His appearance wasn't altered really. It certainly wasn't a costume. Then yesterday afternoon I realized he wanted to be, well, considered "cool" by the kids at the public high school.
We talked about how being cool isn't an outward thing. It's who you are on the inside that really makes you cool. Harold talked to Evan about how it's not good to act a certain way at one school and act different at the other. He needed to be himself wherever he was and whoever he was with. We assured him that he was already tremendously cool!
I'm not sure how much of this he absorbed. It was good to know that some parenting issues are the same whether your child has a disability or not. All teenagers want to be cool and wear what everyone else is wearing. They all try to sneak something by their folks. They all want to be accepted. It was kind of nice to just deal with a normal teenage issue for once. Now how Evan walked around with 2 sets of pants on all day & wasn't horribly uncomfortable, I will never understand. But he really is about the coolest guy I know!
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